ESSAY 18: WEAKEN INFLUENCE OF PARENTS OVER CHILDREN.
Posted April 23, 2009on:
Here’s my new body paragraph:
First, children are affected by TV programs and movies. They often watch TV 3 – 4 hours a day and 2 – 3 movies each week, so they spend more time with television than with their parents. Moreover, there are many teenage stars on TV that attract children and affect their behavior. Children try to imitate these stars; they act like stars, dress like stars and even cut their hair like stars. As a result, their behavior is influenced by movies and TV programs much more than by their parents.
Second, teenagers often spend much time with their friends. They go to school about 5 – 6 hours each day, and they spend most of that time talking with their friends or doing activities together. In free time, they play games or chat on the Internet together. Therefore, they gradually are affected by their friends. They believe that their friends understand and care about them. As a result, parents don’t have enough influence on their children like friends do.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents no longer control what their children do; their behavior is more affected by television, movies, and other outside the home.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I agree: children’s behavior is affected by:
– Movies & TV programs:
+ Children watch TV 3-4 hours a day -> spend more time with TV than with parents.
+ Admire celebrities (singers, movie stars, athletes…) on TV -> try to imitate favorite stars.
+ Influence by violent scenes in action movies -> behave more aggressive.
+ Often hang out with friends more than with parents.
+ Friends have many things in common -> understand what their friends think.
+ Young people often use MP3, Internet… but parents can’t use modern technology.
+ Affected by friends’ behavior.
Only a few centuries ago, parents commonly had strong control over their children’s lives. This is, however, no longer the situation today because children’s behavior is much more affected by television, movies, and other factors than by their parents.
First, children are affected by television. They often watch television three to four TV 3 – 4 hours a day, so they spend much more time watching movies and TV programs than being don’t spend time with their parents. Furthermore, in some family, parents have to work all day and they don’t have time to look after their children, so the children will spend all day watching TV. Thus, many children and teenagers often look for their favorite stars such as singers, movie stars, athletes… on TV and try to imitate them. For example, many middle and high school students like to dress in latest fashions that have been made popular by their stars. They even cut their hair like famous people or even say the same things as them. Also, teenagers sometime watch violent scenes in action movies, and this has very negative influences on children’s minds. They will behave more aggressive with other people and have a tendency to engage in violence. Young people simply are influenced by movies and TV programs much more than by their parents.
Second, teenagers often hang out with their friends; so friends are often much influential on young people. Teenagers feel like they have many things in common with their friends more than with their parents, so they understand and care about what their friends think more than what their parents think. For instance, many parents, unlike teenagers, are not proficient at using modern technology. They might not even know how to surf the Internet or use an MP3 player. This gap in knowledge makes it hard for their children to find common ground with them. Also, many youth people are affected by their friends’ behavior. If they hang out with bad guys, they will gradually become worse and worse. That’s why we have to choose our friends carefully. Parents simply don’t have enough influence on their children like friends do.
In conclusion, parents no longer affect their children’s behavior as much as they did because there are many other factors that have more influence over the children. TV and movies have tremendous influences over youths, and they friends can have a greater effect as well. As young people get more absorbed in modern media and their friends, parents will continue to lose more control over their children.
I want to discuss with you about the body paragraph. I write down something here so that you could consider. I read over the essay, try to understand what is the essay about and make questions and trying to answer that questions.
Why parents no longer control what their children do? (The essay already mentions about television. So I try to think about television ….)
1./ Most children are affected by television. Nowadays, parents work a lot. So they don’t spend time with their children as they used to be in the past. Therefore, their children tend to watch television more. In fact most children watch television between three to four hours a day. As a result, their behavior is affected by characters on television and their parents no longer control their children anymore.
2./Children also are affected by their friends.
Children like to spend time with their friends. Normally, they like to talk with their friends or do activity together. They spend more time with their friends on the phone, on the internet or hang out with them. Therefore they gradually are affected by their friends. They believe in their friends and listen to them. As a result, parents are no longer control their children.
3./ You must practice to rewrite the third body paragraph here.
_Your conclusion is better than previous essays.
_Your introduction in this essay is not simple. You should try to use simple sentence, compound sentence, complex sentence.
_Your body paragraph is also weak. I wrote two body paragraphs for you.
*To write a good essay, people always stick with main idea of that essay and use correctly its supporting sentences.